Desire, Parenting, and Worthiness
This is Maya’s story. She is a single mother searching for balance, rest, and joy. I’ve changed names and details to protect her privacy. Her journey is also the journey of many women—carrying everything alone, navigating parenting through exhaustion, fearing intimacy after heartbreak, and slowly remembering her own worth.
Each mentorship I hold is a quiet unfolding—a living invitation to meet yourself more honestly, more gently, and more wholly than ever before. Within this sacred space, clarity, joy, and alignment are not only possible, but inevitable.
The Ache of Doing It All
When Maya first spoke of her nights, it was with a mix of tenderness and fatigue.
“Sleep has been better. The past two nights I’ve had good sleep with Canyon. He’s still really afraid. I’ve been trying to keep the field sovereign and filled with light, calling in all the guides. But maybe he still needs stronger light around him.”
The love for her son was undeniable. So was the exhaustion of doing it all, of carrying both the weight of parenting and the pain of his father’s absence.
She admitted:
“I decided to message my ex, tell him he has to take him Saturday and Sunday. Tell him to pay for half the school. But the more I reach out, the less I get what I want. Why waste my breath?”
And then came the deeper truth, the one she almost whispered:
“I think, when I go deeper, it’s that I don’t believe in myself. I don’t believe I can feel fully supported. I have to be depleted.”
This is the silent belief so many mothers carry: that to be worthy, they must be tired. That love means self-sacrifice. That joy must wait.
The Loneliness That Hurts Most
Beneath the physical fatigue was something sharper:
“It’s the lonely part that’s killing me, Shams. Even my friends don’t elevate me. Everyone seems to need something from me. I want a support system that’s real. I want more.”
This is the paradox of single motherhood. You give endlessly, yet rarely feel poured into. You crave connection, but hesitate to reach for it, fearing disappointment.
I reminded her: this moment of depletion was not the final story. Life is meant to shift. Seasons are meant to change. She was not destined to carry loneliness forever.
And in that reminder, space opened for something else: desire.
Desire as the Gateway to Worthiness
Desire can feel dangerous when you’ve been trained to survive by self-denial. But for Maya, desire became the key.
Her words carried both trembling and courage:
“I want a spacious home. I want light. I want a good life, Shams. I want to feel worthy.”
It may sound simple, but in that moment, it was revolutionary.
I reflected to her:
“What if your worthiness is defined by the depth of your desire? Not by exhaustion, not by proving—but by how fully you allow yourself to crave the life you long for.”
That was the heart of her feminine awakening journey. Learning that wanting more does not make you greedy. It makes you alive.
Parenting as a Mirror for Healing
Much of Maya’s healing came through her son, Canyon. He reflected both her joy and her unhealed wounds.
“Canyon needs constant attention. If I don’t have new toys, he talks and talks. It’s constant. He’s just like me.”
And when she struggled to hold boundaries, she confessed:
“If I’m not playing with him, he screams. I get scared and give in.”
Parenting, for Maya, was not separate from her healing—it was the very path of it.
I reminded her:
“You will need to calmly but firmly teach him anger is not acceptable. Boundaries rooted in presence will become his anchor.”
In those moments, she was not only guiding her son—she was reparenting her own inner child, learning to hold steady where once she had only known chaos.
From Survival Patterns to Worthy Living
Together, we named the old stories about family, worth, and love—and then reimagined them.
These were not just mental shifts. They were nervous system shifts. Each new paradigm gave Maya’s body more room to breathe.
Anchors for Transformation
Transformation is not only mystical—it is practical. For Maya, we created simple anchors to root her nervous system in safety:
- Nights off for replenishment
- Clear boundaries in parenting
- Simplicity in her business model
- A vision for her next home
- Regular breath practices
Small steps, but each one built trust: trust in herself, trust in life, trust that joy was not a luxury, but a right.
The Nervous System’s Proof
By the end of this chapter of her journey, Maya said something that told me everything:
“My nervous system feels so happy right now.”
It wasn’t about everything being resolved. It was about her body remembering safety. It was about her breath deepening, her shoulders lowering, her nervous system no longer living in fight-or-flight.
That is the measurable shift of spiritual mentorship. Not perfection. Not arrival. But a body that can rest. A heart that can want. A woman who feels worthy again.
Closing Reflection
Maya’s story reminds us: desire is not dangerous. Parenting can be a mirror, not a prison. Worthiness is not earned through exhaustion—it is remembered through allowing.
For every single mother reading this who feels depleted, unworthy, or afraid of wanting more: you are not broken. You are awakening.
And in that awakening, your desire, your parenting, your worth—all of it can become a return to joy.
Explore Further
If your soul is stirring, I invite you to explore the path of one-on-one mentorship.
You don’t have to walk this path alone.